Pimp of the week: Governor Mark Sanford

What do you get when your Governor rises to power exploiting voters by selling a phony family-values image, profits off the public trust using tax dollars to bang an illicit lover, all the while beating others into sexual compliance?

"Sexual freedom" must be OK for social conservatives if it's done under the cloak of secrecy, involves lying to your family, and you loudly ridicule other people for the same thing. Special recipe: shame, betrayal and hypocrisy.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, bragging about the size of his balls in this picture, admitted in the past few days that he:

• lied to his wife repeatedly
• engaged in a "forbidden, tragic" sexual encounter
• no longer loves his wife
• fled his family on Father's Day to bang his mistress
• "crossed the line" engaging in sexual conduct with other women
• shirked his duties as Governor lying about where he was hiding
• used tax dollars to bang his lover
• broke his promise to release records showing how he spent tax dollars
• refuses to resign.

Yet here is the Governor's reaction when others deviate:

“The bottom line, though, is I am sure there will be a lot of legalistic explanations pointing out that the president lied under oath. His situation was not under oath. The bottom line, though, is he still lied. He lied under a different oath, and that is the oath to his wife. So it’s got to be taken very, very seriously.” [Sanford on Livingston, CNN, 12/18/98]

“I think it would be much better for the country and for him personally (to resign). I come from the business side. If you had a chairman or president in the business world facing these allegations, he’d be gone.” [Sanford on Clinton, The Post and Courier, 9/12/98]

“The issue of lying is probably the biggest harm, if you will, to the system of Democratic government, representatives government, because it undermines trust. And if you undermine trust in our system, you undermine everything.” [Sanford on Clinton, CNN, 2/16/99]

Of course, if the Governor's voters in South Carolina do the same thing, they are committing a crime:

SECTION 16-15-60 Adultery or fornication. Any man or woman who shall be guilty of the crime of adultery or fornication shall be liable to indictment and, on conviction, shall be severally punished by a fine of not less than one hundred dollars nor more than five hundred dollars or imprisonment for not less than six months nor more than one year or by both fine and imprisonment, at the discretion of the court.

SECTION 16-15-70 "Adultery" defined. "Adultery" is ... habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.

Governor Mark Sanford, congratulations. You are The Juicy Truth's official Pimp of the Week!

Originally published by The Juicy Truth